Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The Wail Behind the Invisible Veil



How many times have we heard that our culture is the best in the world? How many times we ourselves have repeated the same without even giving a second thought to what we are saying? What is this culture, tradition, the nebulous set of values that we are so proud of? Recent events that i have been witness to made me think. It made me evaluate the set of values we hold in such high esteem and the conclusion that i arrived at was completely at odds with ideas that were ingrained in me since my childhood. Notwithstanding all the paeans we have heard about how Indian culture gives a special place to women, i found ours to be deeply misogynistic which punished women in every walk of life, in every stage of their life. Each and everyday we are witness to so many atrocities committed against women that we don't even bat an eyelid anymore.

Right from the day a girl hits puberty, she is shackled with a whole set of rules that should put anyone to shame. Even in things like eve-teasing and sexual harassment that women go through on a daily basis, the excuses to justify such acts (like the girl invited trouble by not dressing properly) simply reeks of sexism. Or take the atrocious act of rape. How does our society treat women who have been raped? They are branded and face innumerable hurdles before they can even get married. How is this a tradition/culture that we have to be proud about? If art forms, popular or classical, does imitate the real world (or viceversa) it doesn't look great either. How many times have we seen a reel hero marry off his sister to the guy who raped her? How in God's name is this justified? How many of us even notice the sheer stupidity and vulgarity of such an act? We don't because this misogynistic tendency is instilled deep in our thoughts right from our childhood, all in the name of Indian values.

Another blatant hypocrisy in our society is the ridiculous value that is placed on female chastity (alone). If it is that important for the functioning of the society i am sure it would have been placed for both men and women. Why is infidelity of men condoned so easily, yet women are punished so hard even in extreme cases like rape? Or how many of us even question our own mythologies (not if they are real or not, but the underlying principle). How many of us think about Ramayana and question whether Lord Ram was wrong when he asked Sita to prove her chastity by going through agnipariksha? Again, as i see it, Sita was the victim here. (i know this is going to ruffle a lot of feathers, but i am not sure i have heard any decent explanation about this).I am not sure i am so proud of a culture that penalizes the victim than the criminal.

Dowry system, institutionalized to such a ridiculous extent in parts of our country that each educational degree carries a particular amount, should make us hang our heads in shame. The irony of the whole thing is, as the society becomes more literate all these practices (mind you, i am not even going into superstitions and rituals here)are supposed to wane. But i see the dowry amounts being discussed here as a matter of fact among desis (the educated world traveling ones) with respect to their degrees, their income and GC status. Some might try to explain this away with how the idea in the old days was doing the right thing by giving a girl a share from her father's side. In this day and age, when the property rights have been properly written, it doesn't hold good. I am sick and tired of having to listen how it all made sense a few thousand years ago, so its not all bad. I say Bullshit. I hear the same explanation many times to explain away the caste system. Again, i say Bullshit.

What do we do to widows, young and old? They are branded and they are not allowed to attend any functions. They are not allowed to remarry (easily). They are forced into a life where each and everyday is a monumental sacrifice, a fight for survival, a struggle for acknowledgment. What does our society do to a woman who loses her husband say at around 30 years of age with a little kid? Is ours a compassionate culture that places value in rehabilitating them, one that strives to help her get over the personal loss? No, it is one which doesn't want her to part of any other happy occasion like a marriage. It is one which never ever wants her to have another companion in life, even if she has another 40 years ahead of her. It is one which wants her to stay put in a corner praying till she drops dead and be grateful that she was born in a "wonderful" culture like ours. It is a story like this, of a young 30 year old widow, that made me think.

Is there any reason to be proud of this invisible veil called culture that is so cruel to half the population? I don't see one, do you?

3 comments:

Hara said...

Very good observations man. I completely agree with you and there are a lot of things in our culture that we hold so dear are so wrong. No one seems to know and no one seems to care. Everyone is in denial and everyone just wants easy money. I hope people ask some questions to themselve without just following our "great culture" like a mindless robot. Well written bro.

Prasanna said...

karthik, really nice one. i thought you brought out one of the most under-discussed subject of all. i have one disagreement though, i would nt say disagreement but rather a point for you to consider. When you talk about rape, i wud say most of the so called "developed" countries behave pretty much the same way as india does (but i do agree that the person who commits the crime is handled in a completely different way in india). she(victim) is always under the scanner for no mistake of hers.

Anonymous said...

The current tradition in India maybe like what you have said but definitely it was not like this before (Vedic Times).

Just by writing some BS will no way justify your opinions or can deny the TRUTH.
You should have made some ground work before commenting on Barathaa's legacy. Yes, its Barathaa and not the so called "India". The Arabs traders refered to Barathaa's as Sindh people as that trade happened alond Sindh river. "Sindh" is pronounced as "Hindh" in Arabic and so we got the name India, Hindhustan etc;


Your are the kind of person who would beleive in Aryan invasion theory; who would know few poems written by Wordsworth and ignore the rich legacy of invaluable scriptures in your mother tounge. who would beleive any damn BS from the history books and not take the pain to understand the TRUTH.

For your information; (the following are facts from my Nobel friend)

Untouchability was not existent even when the Mughals rules. Historical records state so. (Have you bothered to read unabridged records by Marco Polo? Or Huein Tsang?)

Sati was always a voluntary practice. No one EVER forced women to jump in. In some cases, the women actually did it to avoid the insult of being raped by some Muslim or British - oh yes, these fellows loved to 'claim' all the 'available' women. Virgin rapes were as common then as corruption is today. The best thing was most of these women committed suicide after experiencing the ultimate insult to their existence - yes, they were a race of Honor.
This made things perfect - no traces of the heinous crime...

The Caste and Ethic System was so perfect that it is mentioned in many historic records as the fabric that held Bhaarathic Society so strongly that even the Muslims gave up! There was no point of raping a woman if she'd kill herself afterward -they needed converts, NOT dead women.

In 1825 Lord Macaulay told the british parliament (you can verify this if you go to the UK and access parliamentary minutes that record meetings/sessions) "I have traveled the length and breadth of this vast land, and have not seen a beggar, a thief, or a woman disrespected. Even though the barbarians from Central Asia (Mughals) have raped countless native women for conversion-and slaughtered their sons/husbands, many proud natives have chosen death over conversion- they know no fear. I have never seen a braver or more powerful peoples. The only way we can conquer this nation is to destroy its greatest heritage - it's spiritual backbone, and show the natives that everything we have is superior to what they have... "

Barathaa was the worlds largest economy in 1945 and became a poor country in 1947. Have you ever bothered to know WHY?

800 years ago, when Marco Polo traveled the globe (and he took noodles from china to italy to create Pasta, coffee from Arabia to Italy!!) he said of what is now known as Kerala in Bharat - "... this is a land of bounty - there are diamonds in the fields and there is gold in the river, but no one cares- these people are rich and prosporous - there is enough food for everyone, women walk with their heads held high and are respected throughout the land, the people are free to make opinions, and the Kings make decisions based on peoples' preferences...."

First you must make an attempt to know Barathaa's legacy before spilling you hallow words...

And regarding you reference to Ramayana - First try to understand/unearth the above points which happened in recent past before trying to create a mess abouth the long-past. Grow-up!